Back in the fall, well before this journey first began, the Spirit spoke to me during some time alone with Him and impressed this verse upon my heart: “And the Lord is the one who goes ahead of you; He will be with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear, or be dismayed.” (Deuteronomy 31:8) This was to be my theme verse for 2013.Then December came and Deuteronomy 31:8 took on a whole new meaning!
As I cried out to the Lord, He said, “Kristen, you’re not going to be fighting cancer; you’re going to be fighting fear. And boy was He right (as always)! The little girl who was scared to get on the escalator, to jump off the dock into the lake at summer camp (even wearing a life jacket) or ride a two-wheel bike, among many other fears, grew up to be a Christian woman who loved God and was loved by God but was still strongly bound by fear.
They say the number one fear for most folks is speaking in front of a large group of people. Obviously that one didn’t bother me too much! But just about everything else did. Actually, I lived with this spirit of fear for so long that I really didn’t realize the impact it still had on my heart and on my daily walk with Christ.
Interestingly enough, several who have prayed with me over the past months (from a trained intercessor to a believing Doctor, to a well-known Christian conference teacher) have informed me that often times sin and strongholds in the body show up physically in certain spots. They see it over and over again. Care to guess where fear hides? The respiratory system!
The great news is that God is not just doing a work of physical healing in me due to His grace and your continued fasting and prayers, but He is setting me free in all new ways. Or, should I say, allowing me to see – to really see – and to walk in the freedom that Christ already purchased for me! I couldn’t get it, as hard as I tried. But He is doing it in me and I am beginning to live fear-free!
Amen!!
Wow Kristen! I needed that!! We haven’t formally met… that seems odd because I feel as though i know the whole family. I’m one of Kurt’s DC guys and attend the OC Campus. I have been fasting and praying for you and your family for some time now. I anxiously await the updates and have been truly amazed at the depth and sincerity of your alls faith! They have served as devotionals for me… lifted me up, encouraged and strengthened me through some tough days of my own. We worship an AWESOME God!!!! You could not know all the ways God is working in and through you, your family and even cancer. Will be praying that you will continue to live fear-free in Christ Jesus!!!!
Kristen,
What a testimony of God walking beside us in the midst of our circumstances. I too look forward and am encouraged by the posts. Our God is AMAZING & AWESOME! Praying for continued strength to carry on through treatment. Praying Colossians 1:1-14
Kristen and Kurt – Phil and Kim K here just letting you know that although this is the 1st time we’ve written we have been keeping you guys in prayer ever since that Sunday in December when Kurt mentioned during communion time that the Dr. found something on your lung. We were so surprised because we had just met you for breakfast at Wild Eggs a couple weeks before. It was hard to believe at first and we kept thinking it must be a mistake. But of course nothing is a mistake with God whether he causes or allows it. And reading through your blog it’s obvious how he has been working in powerful ways. Thanks for sharing your life and and thoughts on the blog. We’ll keep asking the Lord to give you healing, peace, patience and everything else that you need during this time! We miss you both around the church. Love, Phil, Kim, Kayla, Seth and Christian
Back from the ‘Marriage Matters’ cruise and marching back into ‘real’ life. The sunrises we enjoyed were like seeing the glory of God kiss the earth and all His creation “Good Morning”. And the sunsets were like watching Him tuck us in for the night. Once we had internet connection, I checked for your updates and, once again, as we are prayfully lifting you up, you end up lifting us up through sharing what God is revealing to you. Kurt and you were never far from the group, in our hearts, in our thoughts, in our prayers. Still praying, Bernie and Susan
“When I was a little girl,” I said, “I went to my father and said, “Daddy, I am afraid that I will never be strong enough to be a martyr for Jesus Christ.” “Tell me,” said Father, “When you take a train trip to Amsterdam, when do I give you the money for the ticket? Three weeks before?” “No, Daddy, you give me the money for the ticket just before we get on the train.” “That is right,” my father said, “and so it is with God’s strength. Our Father in Heaven knows when you will need the strength to be a martyr for Jesus Christ. He will supply all you need – just in time…” (Corrie ten Boon letter)
Just finished doing a lesson with Trent that we taught the 1st and 2nd graders…We taught on the Boon family…thought of you 🙂