One morning, many years ago now, our youngest daughter Ellie Grace was the only one home with mom. She was not yet old enough to go to school. After getting the other three kiddos out the door with their lunches and backpacks in hand, I went up to my bedroom to dress for the day. The quiet was overwhelming and like any mom of little people, I became concerned that Ellie was up to something. Heading out of the bathroom, I rounded the corner and heard a little voice. Peaking down the stairwell, I saw Ellie scooching up the stairs on her backside one stair at a time. In her lap was a stool that was way too large for her to handle. With every step she scooted backwards she spoke quietly, “I dist need a wittle bit of help; I dist need a wittle bit of help.”
Ellie Grace, I’m with you, girl! Sometimes I just need a little bit of help but most days, I need a whole lot!
In Isiah 41 verses 10-14 God repeats a powerful word of encouragement three times! He says simply yet profoundly, “. . . I will help you.”
I will help you. Who is my helper? I– the great I Am, the God of Angel Armies, the Ancient of Days, the Rock, the Mighty, Mighty Deity, the Irradiator, the King of Kings, the LORD of LORDs, the God of all Gods, the One and Only, the Miracle Maker
I will help you. Will– that’s His promise, a commitment, a covenant, a for-sure. His will is good and perfect.
I will help you. Help– doing what I cannot do for myself; making the impossible possible; coming alongside; serving me, rescuing, delivering
I will help you. You– personal, just for me, because it is me, it’s me, it’s me, O Lord, standing in the need of prayer!
You know, the last thing I and we (the Sauder family) want to do through this blog is to give you the impression that we are somehow super-spiritual soldiers, full of unwavering faith, never fearing, never doubting, never discouraged. Scripture teaches that He is faithful even when we are faithless. Don’t believe for a second that we’re always smiles, speaking sweet words and selflessly serving each other at all times. You didn’t, did you? No, there are fleshly flare ups, tears and even anger bubbling up from deep within. There are questions without answers, more tears and temptations to give in to weariness and irritability. Pain pushes my buttons making patience a real challenge as I walk with my cane, keeping a bowl for tummy troubles within close range. Satan would have us divide, turning family members against each other, but our Savior is the One who holds tight the ties that bind.
Someone once asked D.L. Moody why he regularly prayed to be filled with the Spirit. He replied, “Because I leak!”
Thank God for His mercy, His grace and for not just wittle bits of help but for great gobs of it daily. Not to us. Not to us, Oh Lord, but to Thy name be glory forever. Amen!
“I walk alone and I am sore afraid; My way is dark, my path with thorns o’erlaid;
Draw near me, Lord, and take my trembling hand and make me brave to join Thy pilgrim band.
Thou hast a band that fears not dark nor death, which suffers agony at every breath,
Yet sings with joy e’en in the midst of pain, With whom the greatest loss is greatest gain.
Who would not walk with such a company? Who would not sing with such an ecstasy?
Did I say lone and fear? May God forgive and teach me, e’en through sorrow, how to live.
Life is not life which knows no shrinking fears; Life is not life which sheds no bitter tears;
This is true life when, through dark suffering, One learns from Christ and men brave conquering.” (Henry W. Frost)
Kristin:
I think of you daily and pray for your 100% healing. You are an incredibly strong women and pain can push all the emotional buttons making your days emotionally exhausting. One of the hardest things to do is live in pain. I remember the six month I was on a morphine patch and being in a wheel chair and feeling so exhausted as I learned to walk all over again. For over a year daily crying became a ritual. You are a beautiful person with an amazing heart and you have duly earned the right to flare up and feel mad, sad and angry and cry. My burden is so small compared to yours and I know one should not barter with God but I did. I would barter for moments. People always would ask me why I camped out with the kids for a wii or why I made a memory blanket …I always replied because I can. I always knew and still know that I can be knocked down in a moment’s notice. Take the good moments ( for me they were usually early in the day) to do what is important to you because you can. Love, Peace and Blessings, Kim
You are precious, Kristen. My prayers will continue.
Kristen, Kurt and Family,
Oh how I pray and shed tears for you, literally morning, noon and night as God has me in a place where that’s about all I can do as I await a doc appt this week to see the surgeon for yet another surgery. When I’m feeling useless, God continues to nudge and remind me that prayer is the most powerful way of helping one another. Even when I don’t know what to pray for you or for myself or for others, thankfully the Holy Spirit knows and goes to the Father on our behalf.
Thank you for being real as it is hard to live in this world in constant pain, and it is hard on all those who are closest to you. Unless you’ve been in pain for an extended period of time, it is hard to even imagine. And through it all, most of all we want to bring Glory to God.
Praying for you and for immeasurable blessings and miracles!
Dear Kristen, thank you for sharing that we are “leaky” people—pain has become a daily jar-of-clay-vessel-breaker for me. Some days my leaks are not pretty at all. One day recently, as I was holding my rib cage, I asked, “How can God love me when I can barely breathe?” You reminded me that He WILL…He WILL…help me…because HE has a covenant with me that HE WILL NOT break…because HE does love me. HE is the one holding this jar of fleshly clay together, in spite of the leaks, and my spirit can REJOICE! Love you and smiling, thinking of you (and the rest of the Sauder crew)!
Kristen,
Thank you for being vulnerable & still fixing your eyes on our Unchangeable God. His Word is fixed and so everything else is temporary, subject to change, until it lines up with His unchangeable Word. I can relate to dealing with a “wittle bit” of chronic pain lately. The Spirit of God highlighted His words to Paul recently & I’ve loved meditating on it: “My power is made perfect in weakness”. Yes Lord I thank you that your power rests on my weaknesses. Be glorified. I keep thinking how Paul was stoned to death and he couldn’t get any weaker than dead, yet he got up and walked away! Over and over Christ’s power was overcoming in Paul whether it was riots, shipwrecks, or snake bites. Kristen, you are an overcomer through Christ’s Victory! We continue to pray for His Resurrection Power to be manifested in your mortal body! Standing with you on the WORD & so Thankful for your ministry to us! Jim & Donna
Well said! Praying for you and your family!
Sweet Kristen,
We sang this song in church today and I thought of you immediately! Prayed these words for you several times today.
Oh my God
He will not delay
My refuge and strength
Always
I will not fear
His promise is true
My God will come through
Always
Always
Love you girl!
My Dear Kristen– Chronic nagging physical & emotional pain was never part of our original design. It is satan’s ultimate tool to interfere with our will & throws static into our very core. Unrelenting over time, pain prevents us from being who we desperately want to be. It robs our joy…and not just ours but also the joy of those we love the most. That extension only intensifies the suffering and moves pain to a new level. Even using anguish as his greatest tool, the evil one cannot touch our soul … our hope…”God shall wipe away all TEARS … no more CRYING … no more PAIN …” Rev. 21:4
Thank you for your beautifully honest words. I know it is hard. We all need HIS help. May He provide “great gobs of it” to you this day.
Dear Kristin,
I am one who has been following your journey this past year, but I have not commented on your blog. I just want you to know we are thinking of you, are praying for you, and are sharing your story with others so they can pray for you.
I encourage any others who read this blog to comment and let the Sauder family know of your encouragement for them.
I am sure there are many who do encourage you in many ways, but I am also sure there are many, like me, who quietly storm the heavens on your behalf. Kristin, I just want you to know we are here. I hope you feel God’s hug and healing and comfort.
Your friend in Christ, Annette