While at Moody Bible Institute, my roommate, Courtney Rose, introduced me to a lovely singer/songwriter named JJ Heller. If you haven’t heard of her, you should totally look up some of her music!
I have sweet memories of sitting on the floor with Court, listening to “Boat Song” while trying to sew curtains for our dorm room (trying is the key word there!! :)). Or listening to “Until You Came Along” while trying to finish our papers (again, trying is the key word!). We loved listening to this adorable artist sing about her life and family. Today, even hearing one of her songs reminds me of my time at Moody.
Recently, I decided to listen to some of her music and just clicked on a playlist on YouTube. One of the first songs that came up was new to me and I was immediately drawn in. Before I knew it, I was on the floor watching the music video and weeping. You can listen below:
The first year after Mom’s passing I lived life bitter and angry at God, others and just about everything. Even joyful times seemed grey to me. Sometimes those feelings return but for the most part, the Lord has in time, revealed Himself to me as a God who is mysterious and yet still good. JJ’s words, “I don’t know what You’re doing, but I know who You are” are a direct reflection of my heart.
I still wonder why in the world God took Mom. She was so healthy and was making such a difference. But I truly can say that because I know who He is, I have hope. I don’t know how people who do not have the hope of Christ go through tragedies. I guess some find joy in doing things that make them happy, but from experience I can attest that even those things feel dry and menial in light of the pain one feels in the midst of loss. Without Christ and the hope of Heaven, I would be a mess. I am so grateful that even though life is incredibly hard, we have hope as an anchor for the soul (Heb. 6:19). Whatever you are walking through today, can you say that although you don’t know what the Lord is doing, you still know who He is?
You could even pray, “Jesus, I give You____ . Help me to trust You today and show me the way through this.”
He is faithful and one day all of this mess will be restored.
Love, Olivia
Thank you for your openness and honesty, Olivia! Giving God the glory when we don’t understand takes faith. So thankful for this gift from Him!
Love you!
Thanks, Olivia, for that beautiful and heartfelt post. It was very touching, and so was the song by JJ Heller. Love you!
Thank you for sharing Olivia. The song blessed me also. I am praying God will continue to share His truth to you. Blessings and hugs, Charlene
Looking forward to that day Olivia!! Thank you for being so real…very encouraging- Our family loves the song!